The Failure of the Woke Movie Remake Industry


Afterall, in a truly meritocratic society nothing matters but ability and in a truly free society we should be free to cast anyone we like for any role we like.

A few years ago, in 2016, Matt Damon causes social media outrage. You’d be forgiven for thinking he had done something sinister, like fail to honour a referendum or sexually assault a teenager, as was the trend around that time. But no, Matt Damon caused outrage simply for being good at his job.

You see, in all his acting prowess, Mr. Damon managed to land the part of “warrior mercenary” in the mediocre film “the Great Wall”, directed by a Chinese director (Zhang Yimou) who saw perfectly fit to cast a white man to portray the character of “European Mercenary” as best as possible. Yimou might have missed the mark a bit considering the film’s mediocrity, but a fair choice nevertheless.

A fair choice unless you’re one of the social media crusaders of our time, spreading your cultish poison as hypocritically and as widely as possible. If that is the case – and you are one of these insufferable thinkers – then Matt Damon’s casting was probably a source of great distress, insensitivity, “whitewashing” and even the dreaded “cultural appropriation”.

Indeed, there was a lot of social media outrage and even some mainstream media coverage pertaining to the fact that in casting Damon, Hollywood was ultimately completing its transition into becoming a fully-fledged faction of the Ku Klux Klan. I mean, if you want for a second to assume the role of basement dwelling pansexual Demi-boy, I guess you can kind of see their point; the Great Wall is clearly based on the Chinese conflict between the Chinese and the Mongols, neither of whom Matt Damon looks like at all.

This is for many reasons including but not limited to his height, his facial construction, his voice, his grey blue eyes and, most controversially, his skin colour. He is of course representative of the patriarchal commander in chief that is the western white male. How dare he play the lead role in a fantasy epic about conflict in China; how dare he infiltrate Chinese culture so audaciously? Maybe something radical happened like he was the best man for the job. Afterall, in a truly meritocratic society nothing matters but ability and in a truly free society we should be free to cast anyone we like for any role we like. The box office will tell us whether the decision was a good or a bad one. Right?

Wrong again. Because you see, we now live in an age best described as a post-neo-liberal-hyper-hypocritical-cesspool-of-stupidity. We live in 2019, the era where it’s beautiful to be a 5’5″ 20.8st woman but a crime against beauty to suggest actually making yourself look good; the era where Donald Trump is a homophobe but Che Guevara is a figure to be adored and represent the people, whoever they are. The era where hate is a crime, unless it’s directed towards Boris Johnson, or Nigel Farage, or white people in general; then it becomes activism.

As such, the liberal hate machine that is social media, ever keen to express their woke virility, love a good opportunity to exhibit this hypocrisy, and with the casting of Lashana Lynch as the new 007 and the largely negative reaction to it they have been given an ample and irresistible opportunity.

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The James Bond 007 Is a film series based upon a smooth, alpha male, white secret agent. Yes, yes, I know it’s hard to find anywhere in the books where he was described as white and all that- please spare the world this banal, pedantic pseudo intellect. But if for a second one was to put aside their sensitivities, heightened by the aura of 2019’s insatiable lust for political correctness, I think this is one of those many situations in modern discourse that simply doesn’t need a doctoral thesis to prove: we all know 007 James Bond is a white male.

And that is not a problem. People can be white. Characters can be canonised. The fresh Prince is black. Characters are precisely that, characters; designed to tell a story. Sure, 007 is the agent number and there was probably, in the Flemingesque fictional universe he inhabits, someone before James Bond, and the whole (boring, feministly written) plotline for the new film is that this Black woman is his replacement upon retirement, but I have one question: Why?

Why make a point of it? Why do black people and women need writing into canonised white parts? Why isn’t there a push for more Bangladeshi or Chinese people taking white parts? Can we not write or produce new series with black and female parts canonised from the outset instead of completely dismantling pieces of our culture for the sake of virtue signalling cash grabs? There certainly shouldn’t be a segregation within film and cinematography, but this remake culture we have seen emerge over the last 10 years or so commissioned by tired writers and safe playing Hollywood exec’s is a universally boring, almost always bad one. Couple that with the film making powers that be jumping on the cash cow that is peoples’ political emotions and we have had a sycophantic, sub-par industry sailing whichever way the political winds are blowing.

The all-female cast of Ghostbusters was so bad they had to formally apologise to the discipline of film making and commit to an original cast sequel. Oceans 8 was a failure. Just a failure, it was weak, clearly politically motivated, clearly rushed for quick cash, clearly a corporate money grab built around the sentiments of the time. Black Annie was just unnecessary. Why not produce a film with a young black family and an original concept?

Remaking established and predominantly-white-cast films with a token all black or token all female cast is the pinnacle of woke consumerism. It epitomises the character lacking and cheap consumerist mindset of the modern outraged militant millennial. The difference between remaking Annie with an all-black cast and casting Matt Damon as a combatant on the Great Wall of China is that the latter was a new idea, a new project; badly written and poorly received. It was a new project that will live and die with that film. The former, however, is an overt attempt to dismantle the idea that white people can be the majority of anything and that these films loved from a time where none white actors were very few and very far between are almost something to be ashamed of. They’re not. They were brilliant and almost without exception every single one of these woke remakes has been abysmal.

The connotations are desperately dangerous, and in many ways patronising. I for one would find it grotesquely condescending to be cast in a film because my skin colour is the one the producers can exploit for easy money.

One thing is for sure though, I can’t see them ever remaking bad boys or the Fresh Prince with an all-white cast. I wonder why?

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